It’s about to get personal again
I don’t know how I wanna start this post, but here I go..
I have known for years that I didn’t want to live and settle down in my hometown. There is little to nothing here for me. I’m a senior in college. My life is about to come to a huge point with big decisions. I can’t do what I love and what I’ve spent tens of thousands of hours and dollars getting my degree in. I can’t make a living of photography here. I knew that when I started and I’m okay with that.
Many things have changed in my life in the past 3-5 years. Big changes. Life altering, time stopping, devastating changes. Along with all that came more drama, more crap, more stress, and more lies. Throughout all of this my home is no longer my home, and I have no where in my hometown to call my own. Like it’s always been it’s just me and my mom against the world.
Now, I’m not saying we don’t have people who love and care for us and vise versa, but in the end mom is the only and truest family I’ve got.
Coming back from our (epic) roadtrip out west it was made more clear in my mind. Augusta, Georgia is not where we wanna be. I know myself well enough (after all I’m working on being me for my 22nd year) that I know I won’t be happy here.
I’m gonna miss my family like friends more than words can express, and I will still come back and visit….but this isn’t home anymore. This isn’t where I’m suppose to be.
I went to Alaska for two weeks when I was in elementary school. Ever since I got back mom (who had been before and didn’t go on this trip) and I have been talking about moving there ever since. I loved everything about Alaska and have felt drawn back for years. You may call me crazy, but I know deep down in my heart and gut that I’m suppose to be there. I’m suppose to live in Alaska. Now, I’ve always known I wasn’t suppose to live there forever, but I need to go, no I have to go… That is where I know I belong, even if it’s only for a few years or so.
However, you can’t just snap your fingers and move across the country. So for now I think we’re gonna stay in Georgia, just move to a different part while I finish out school.
I thought this would make me sad, angry and just a mix of sour emotions, but it doesn’t. I’m sad to leave the loved ones I do have here, but I know this isn’t where I’m suppose to be.. This isn’t where I’ll be happy. This isn’t where I’ll have a career, or start a family. This isn’t where I belong and I’ve accepted that now, even though I’ve always known